I know this post will garner a lot of haters, but I just have to say it: the term “narcissist” is abused in family law.
First of all, Lawyers Aren’t Doctors or Therapists
I am not saying your ex isn’t a narcissist. He or she may totally be one.
I’m just saying:
- I am not capable of diagnosing it, because I am a lawyer. Not a doctor.
- If one were to google “narcissist”, or “narcissistic personality disorder” (which is what some lawyers do to say they “specialize” in NPD), you’ll find a ton of information, the most relevant being…
- NPD only affects roughly 5% of the population.
Chances are, your ex is not a narcissist – just a jerk. But again, I am only a lawyer.
Narcissism Doesn’t Help Your Case
And even if I also had a medical degree, labeling your ex a narcissist won’t help you much in your divorce case.
In fact, incorrectly tossing around labels will likely hurt you.
Reputable Attorneys Probably Won’t Take Your Case
Think about this logically: if you are a reputable attorney with good results and bountiful clients, would you rather take cases where the opposite side is a) easy to deal with or b) a narcissist?
Casually labeling your ex a “narcissist” will likely deter good attorneys from taking your case.
If Your Ex is a Narcissist, the Divorce Will Be Super Expensive
From what I read on the internet, narcissists are super difficult, which means your divorce will be very expensive. Divorce attorneys charge per hour.
Even if they are NOT a Narcissist, The Divorce Will Still Be Expensive
It’s easy for unscrupulous lawyers to drag on your divorce and blame it on your ex, because “Hey, I am dealing with a narcissist! I need you to replenish your retainer with another $100,000.”
Be cautious of lawyers who “specialize” in narcissim.
If Your Spouse Indeed Suffers from NPD, Hire a Therapist
It appears from my research that narcissists need special hand holding before they agree to anything.
My recommendation is to find a therapist who is trained to diagnose these personality disorders and capable of dispensing advice on how to deal with NPD.
This would be much more effective than hiring a lawyer without any medical knowledge.
Are You a Narcissist? Quiz
When I was googling, I discovered that NPD is an a “spectrum”. So, some people are more narcissist than others.
I took the quiz. Here is the link if you’d like to take it as well. Are You a Narcissist? Quiz
@lawyerkelly Nah #divorceattorney #divorcelawyer #choosewisely #familylaw #divorcetips #CloseYourRings ♬ Spongebob Tomfoolery – Dante9k Remix – David Snell