I once met someone who didn’t have social media.
Everyone I Know Has Social Media
Everyone I know has a social media account, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Instagram, Tik Tok, Reddit, SnapChat, Tumblr, Yelp, YouTube.
1 in 7 Marriages End Due to Social Media
According to this report, 1 in 7 marriages end due to social media. It is so pervasive in our lives that you’d be silly not to have a discussion prior to marriage.
More and more couples are inserting social media clauses in their prenups. Below is a list (not exhaustive) of things you may wish to discuss with your partner prior to marriage.
If one or both of you has online presence, it is probably important for you to protect your reputation. Emotional angry posts about someone’s infidelity in the heat of moment may destroy the other.
The internet is forever. Thus, you may want to discuss what is appropriate for one of you to post about the other. Do one of you own a business? Do you want the other writing a 1-star review about said business when the marriage ends?
Private v. Public?
Oversharers can cause damage to their marriage if their spouse is more private. I once represented a man who divorced his wife because she refused to remove provocative photos and videos of herself on the internet.
Shared details of your intimacy are sacred. If one of you wishes to share, common sense would dictate that you seek approval (permission?) of the other before posting it.
Friending Exes and Such
This is a big one. I’ve had several cases where clients had their “high school sweethearts” reach out to them via Facebook, causing them to realize they need to immediately leave their marriage for this fantasy.
I’ve also had many a client whose spouses left them for someone they met on Tinder, or Ashley Madison.
If you are accepting friend requests from exes, I would make sure you let your spouse know. Better yet, have that discussion early on in your relationship.
Tik Tok Dances
This is a big one. Tik Tok is a relatively new social media platform, and it involves several dance challenges. Some of these dances are very sexy. For example, the WAP challenge. WAP stands for “wet ass pussy” and is Cardi B’s latest hit.
If you haven’t seen the dance, I’ve attached the link above. Caution: NSFW (not safe for work).
The WAP challenge involves a LOT of sexually suggestive grinds and gyrations, and I can foresee divorces occurring from wives doing this dance and posting the video.
Couples should probably discuss what would disturb their conscience when it comes to the posts of their spouses.
Who keeps those sex videos when you guys part? It’s never a romantic discussion, but you need to talk about that.
Can one of both of you post these videos?
If not, specifically say so in your prenup!
By the way, posting revenge porn is not only a crime, but a form of domestic violence. Don’t do it.
Joint Social Media Accounts
Do you wish to share a joint account? Some couples like to have family account and both have equal access to the account to post photos and videos. Make sure you discuss who keeps this account; or the account gets deleted.
Typically, a prenuptial agreement governs issues relating to finances. It is true that lifestyle clauses are often unenforceable. See How Do I Guarantee My Prenup is Enforceable?
Many of the above issues can be interpreted to be “lifestyle” clauses and therefore unenforceable. So, that is an issue to consider when you add one of these social media clauses in your prenup.
However, in my experience, having that discussion (whether or not it goes into the prenup) is pivotal to the relationship. So go ahead and talk about it.
If you guys do get a social media clause, understand it may or may not be enforceable. Don’t forget to put a “severability clause” in your agreement. (This should be in EVERY contract!)
The severability clause protects the validity of the REST of the agreement in case one clause is held unenforceable. It “severs” this clause and throws it out, keeping the rest of the agreement.