Why People Make Threats
Google “Why people make threats”, and you’ll be rewarded with a ton of free psychology. From “feeling powerless” to “insecurity”, the many reasons people make threats are not surprising.
In divorce, most of the time, people make threats to control the other person. Instilling fear is a good way to get people to do what you want, and is the modus operandi of any armed robber. (“Give me your money or I’ll shoot you!”)
Don’t worry. After 20+ years of practicing family law, I am familiar with almost every kind of threat, and I can tell you with absolute certainty, most of them are empty threats.
I’ll Seek Sole Custody!
Just because you are divorcing your spouse does not mean your kids also divorce them. Barring some exceptions, almost every state encourages frequent and continuing contact with both parents.
You’ll NEVER See the Kids Again
Not only is kidnapping a CRIME (which will land you in jail), someone who tries to do this is risking losing custody.
I’ll Cut You Off!
Child support and spousal support are mandatory. If the person making the threat is the supporting spouse, more than likely they will be ORDERED to pay support.
Being “cut off” is scary though – and lawyers cost money, so I always recommend that people NEVER relinquish complete financial control to their spouse. Always be somewhat of an in-spouse.
It’s MY House (MY bank account) – Your Name Isn’t On It and You Get NOTHING
If the house and accounts were acquired during the marriage, it does not necessarily matter if your name is on title. Albeit, if someone really wanted to, they could sell the house without your permission, or drain the account, but this is challenging.
Clearly the person making this threat doesn’t understand community property law.
You’re a DRUNK, a LIAR, a CHEATER, MENTALLY ILL, and The Judge Will Rule For Me
Family Law Judges aren’t in the business of rewarding revenge. They don’t punish anyone for being a bad spouse. Divorce is not punishment.
You Will LOSE EVERYTHING
Remember, it’s never EVERYTHING. Only HALF.
Sometimes people like to threaten to cut off their nose to spite their face. It probably won’t happen. It’s just a threat.
If You Are Threatened
Don’t respond. Someone once taught me the “grey rock method“. Basically, act like a boring grey rock. If you do not respond, the manipulator should find some other person to harass.
If you are concerned about the threats, seek an attorney’s advice. Knowledge is power.